Rice Cake 911

There are these things that we do over and over, and each time we wonder why we allowed ourselves to repeat the same mistakes. Maybe it’s a relationship that always crashes and burns once reignited. Maybe it’s that “shortcut” driving to work that is never, ever shorter. Maybe it’s wearing that cute dress that you haven’t worn in a while, then halfway through the day remembering it has a hole in it, then hanging it back up in your closet at the end of the day and repeating it all a month from now.

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Maybe it’s buying rice cakes when you’re grocery shopping. What are these things? Why do I think they are going to be this delicious snack when they are just Styrofoam Frisbees with some artificial caramel drizzled on there to distract you from the fact that you are consuming something you should be stuffing in packing boxes?

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And yet, at least once a month, I throw them in my cart as a viable snack option. They sit in my cupboard until a late night snack desperation moment strikes, and then I stare them down with a slight snarl. This time around, I refused to let the rice cakes win, so I decided to go the extra mile and create a recipe to spruce them up. Good news for chefs everyone – peanut butter and jelly can fix almost any dish (more pb&j love found here).

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SAD-TO-HAPPY RICE CAKES

Ingredients:
  • Rice cakes (any variety – they’re all pretty bad)
  • Peanut butter
  • Jelly
  • Parsley for garnish (optional, but classy)
Directions:

1) Match your sadness to that of the sadness of the rice cake

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2) Gather up your faithful friends to rally

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3) Watch the happiness unfold

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16 thoughts on “Rice Cake 911

    • Huh, fair enough. I haven’t done the minis. The caramel maxis (? probably not the word, but we’re going with it) are the only bearable ones. Bite-sized would probably be perfect -crumbled over ice cream, perhaps?

  1. My self-loathing includes eating rice cakes, too. I think they were originally going to be called rice pucks until some marketing genius figured that us sap consumers would be more seduced if cake were substituted for puck.

    • Although in Minnesota (and maybe Canada), I bet Rice Pucks would engage a whole new consumer, adding a sports fanbase to the current self-loathing demographic. You could be onto something here…

  2. If I only I a dollar for every bag of rice cakes that went stale at my house, I could take the husband to a 4-star restaurant!

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